Shadows
by ThexInvisiblexGirl
Summary: Oh, Martha, Martha, now I know. Now I feel what you must have felt. Wendla's last moments, after her mother leaves her with the doctor. PLEASE R&R!


**A/N: okay, this one didn't let me go for a few days, so I thought I'd just let it out. it's rather random, stream of consciousness kind of thingie, but I think it makes sense in context. I own nothing of the geniusness that is Spring Awakening, unfortunately. this is my first attempt on this musical. enjoy, reviews are LOVE.**

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**Shadows **

"_Mama_!"

My scream echoes as the dark stranger takes a hold on my arm. "Keep it low, you insolent child!" he hisses, pulling me abruptly away. Tears blur my vision; I can barely see. I follow him blindly into a house, down a staircase, along a corridor. It's even darker inside. It surrounds me. I'm scared I might trip. I'm being pulled into a side room. He pushes me unceremoniously inside. "Get in there," he commands, and bolts the door behind us.

I'm standing in a middle of a strange room, shivering. I steal a glance around me, but everything swims in shadows. The room is bare except for an examination bed in the middle of it. There are endless bottles on a nearby shelf. They are small bottles, with labels. I wrap my arms around myself, shielding myself against the chill. A part of me knows what I'm doing there, but that part is numb, half from fright, half from the cold. I feel betrayed, abandoned by my own mother.

The tears come before I even realize it. I feel them now, hot against my cheeks. "I want my mama," I sob like a schoolgirl, the schoolgirl I so wish I could stay forever. The man who brought me here is standing at the far end of the room. His back is turned to me. He doesn't listen.

There is another woman in the room, and she's shaking her head as she eyes me curiously. "My, that's a pretty one," she comments. Her voice is husky, unpleasant. I shiver beneath her piercing gaze. She steps closer and removes a lock of hair from my forehead. I'm scared to slap her hand away. "Aren't you a beauty?"

"We have no time for that," the man snaps. "Get her ready."

Before I know it, she seizes my arms. I struggle, but somehow she's stronger. My coat is taken from me; I hear the ripping of my dress as she tries to take it off me. She swears, as if she doesn't expect me to put up a fight. I use my nails, but it's hardly helpful. I feel how my crying weakens me. I think I slip into hysteria. Suddenly I'm lying down. The mattress smells sour, unclean, and it's suddenly stuffy in the room. I can hardly breathe.

"There, there, that's a good girl," the woman coos, and I'm trying to shrink away from her touch. I see the needle a moment too late. The narcotic slowly spreads into my system; I feel how it does. I try to resist the heavy waves of slumber, but I know I can't. Suddenly I feel groggy, numbed, not from the cold this time. I'm floating, flying, hardly aware of anything else. I smile to myself. I'm alright, really.

Then the pain comes, sharp and brutal. I cry out, then scream. It's burning, deep inside of me. Something is prodding me, searching, wounding. I know I'm wounded. And in my hazy state of mind I can't help thinking about _him_, about his touch, and how different it was. It hurts so much that I scream again, but the scream echoes inside my head, and I wonder if I have screamed at all. Oh, Martha, Martha, now I know. Now I feel what you must have felt. And the pain. So much of it. Someone please take away the pain.

Martha, I wish I could be as brave as you. But it's too much. And the room swims in shadows again. Did I close my eyes? But they're open. I feel as if I'm falling, falling with no end. Melchior, save me, please come and save me… save our child, our future… the together you have promised me… and Mama, where are you? You said you'd be there with me every moment. You _promised_! You were supposed to protect me.

Melchior… love… remember…

Alone. Dark. Pain, so much pain. Burning. Shadows. So many of them. Soon I'll be one, too, I know. I'm slipping deeper. The screaming hurts my ears. And then, finally, nothing. All silent. Dark again, but peaceful. Just want to sleep. Drifting. Going, going…

Gone.


End file.
